MJ Akbar
RELIGION is not a mystery. It is logical. Religion is the only insurance that man has for existential insecurity. God is the answer to the unknown, the deity of life after death. The only mystery is human: Why are we tempted to turn our chosen God into a partisan in this life? God is the creator of the universe, not the father of a nation or a clan. The cynicism of man has recreated God into the chief of a faction of the human race.
Could anything be a greater sin than such apostasy?
Logic explains the mundane as much as the divine. In their private moments publishers wonder why they can’t print enough books on religion but an internationally acknowledged bestselling genre like crime fiction struggles to find a market in India. The answer is not complicated. Indians do not need Agatha Christie. They read newspapers. They read stories about the Cyanide Ladies of Andhra Pradesh.
Feminine criminals’ home
In the first week of September our newspapers carried the remarkable story of the Cyanide Killers of Tenali, the home base of feminine criminals of exceptional intrepidity and victims of considerable wealth. Three women, Gulra Ramanamma, 60, Munagappa Rajini, 40, and Madiyala Venkateshwari, 32, were arrested for killing at least four people with cyanide-laced drinks before robbing the dead of jewels and other valuables. If that is not a thriller then I have read my shelfful of Agatha Christie – Hercule Poirot, Miss Marple – Raymond Chandler and Dashiell Hammett in vain.
I have not seen photographs of these three ladies of Tenali, but imagination has already begun its sketch-work.
The scene is set as the spiders invite the naïve fly into their parlour. A smiling grandmother befriending the target with elderly charm, offering advice on how to cure a cold with that antiseptic created by God, turmeric, mixed with the divine gift of cow’s milk (add honey for taste). The mature middleaged mother, friendly and reassuring, knowledgeable about the ways of the world, giving gentle advice on how to evade the spin-artists and deceptionspecialists who prey on innocents. The chatty 32-year-old, adding panache to the carefully crafted bonhomie, luring the target with craft and intelligence.
The leader is of course grandma, asserting rights of age and experience; she also takes 40 per cent of the take, leaving her partners with 30 per cent each. They do things with care. They select their target after serious examination of the odds. They do not want too intelligent a prey. This is real-life drama, not some silly fiction. They check the worthiness of their plans while the ploy is in progress. If anything goes wrong, they drop the target and move to another potential victim. Murder is scientific. It is both the easiest and most difficult of crimes; if done in a hurry, you can only repent in the leisure of a prison.
True-life bestseller
Okay: artistic licence is often nothing but literary larceny, but the descriptions ring true in my imagination. They explain the conscious age difference of the Gang of Three. Each age has a different role. Police have told us about their careful plans. They began wooing one victim in the last week of June and committed the cyanide murder only in August.
The modus operandi was worthy of the publishing industry. Make friends, choose a venue suitable for an alibi, invite the fly into your parlour only when you are certain the invitation will be accepted, offer a friendly soft drink laced with not-so-friendly cyanide, and, as the English say, Bob’s your uncle.
Enough material then for a good reporter to turn into a true-life bestseller, naturally with the occasional embellishment. The title writes itself. The Cyanide Killers of Tenali. Simple is best, as Agatha Christie told us. Hercule Poirot described himself as old-fashioned because he believed that the most obvious suspect was most likely to be the actual murderer, although he always took the long road to the end since he did not want the tales to become a short story.
Next step: television serial. Handsome royalties for the reporter, or at least enough to tide over requirements from the friendly victual shop till the next juicy crime. Who said that crime does not pay? It may not pay the criminal enough or always, but it certainly pays the multilevel industry around crime.
